I DO NOT LIKE TURKEY

Breaking news; I do not like turkey. I have liked it in the past. I liked it as a kid, I liked it as a wife, a mother, a grandmother and this year I realized I do not like turkey.

I am pretty certain the reason I no longer like it is because when Larry died, he took all those turkey dinners with him.

He loved turkey. I would make a different recipe every so often and he never complained because he loved turkey. He did not mind when I stopped stuffing the damn bird, he just made his stuffing on the side and baked it in the oven.

Over the years I did begin to scale down on the size of the bird. I could eat one second meal of leftovers and after that every last morsel belonged to Larry and the dogs.

I even included a turkey story in my book “Fractured-Living with Grief”.

If I am ever invited to Thanksgiving dinner in the future, I will eat some dark meat. I will eat everything else on the table with one more exception. I absolutely cannot stand Green Bean Casserole. I know I am probably an alien from a different planet.

From now on it is a roast chicken for me, no more turkey and definitely no green bean casserole.

That face, a face only a mother could love, where is it’s mother? Oh probably in an oven somewhere.

Conjugating Grief

Conjugating is one of those words that takes us back to 7th grade English class. Once we have it down pat, it comes back to us when we start to learn a foreign language in 9th grade.

The verb “to be” constantly changes form and for some strange reason it has always resonated with me because I like grammar. I am certainly not perfect at it and I often need help with it. Grammar and conjugating verbs is something I have always had fun with and I also admit that I like to diagram sentences too.

Today I was researching quotations that have deep meaning and I came across one by Eckhart Tolle and as I read it I immediately was conjugating the verb “to be”. That is how engrained this is in me. I allowed it to take me down a different road as I thought about what he meant when he wrote it and as I dwelled upon it I found myself researching the word conjugate.

I know, undoubtedly you are wondering where I am going with this. What I did was look at all the definitions of the word and I was surprised to see that there are scientific uses of the word too. I won’t go into that because that would take me too far outside the boundaries of what I am writing about today.

It has been a while since I have posted. I have been busy doing pre-sales for my book (hint go to the top of this page and click “The Book” and you can receive a signed copy.)

Let me reel it all in and explain what spoke to me today. It was Tolle’s quote that sent me down the rabbit hole.

I will leave it here for you all to consider – it’s deep, I feel it.

Twenty Months Ago

Twenty months ago, Larry took his last breath and let go of all the footsteps he had placed on this world. He was never able to say goodbye, not in words. I was blessed to have had that afternoon where he held me close and caressed my head as I lay on his chest. My heart is filled with gratitude that he was able to get his message to me and I felt his love. He held me tightly and we danced. I laid my head on his chest as he laid in a hospital bed, I disconnected the alarms on his ventilator so we wouldn’t be disturbed, and we shared our love without words.

Twenty months later I am releasing the presale of my book “Fractured-Living with Grief” honoring his love, honoring the twenty plus years we had together, honoring all that he did for me, honoring the man he was.

Many of you who are reading this knew him well, and he left footsteps on your lives too. I love hearing you tell me how much you cared for him, how much you admired how he took care of me, how much he made you believe in love.

Welcome to the new website dedicated to our story of love peppered with hope and faith that when you reach this day you will have something to fall back upon in my guidance through the hardest days you will ever face.

You are here because you want to order a book, and the process is simple, just click on “The Book” on the menu at the top of the website and you will be taken to the order form.

Thank you for supporting me as I wandered through the wilderness of deeply painful grief. Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for letting me cry. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

All my love,

Carole