Fractured – Chapter 6

My goal is to send my manuscript to my writing coach by the end of this week at the latest (so if you are reading this months after May of 2020 and holding a copy of my book welcome).

I have braided my story by writing from the life of grieving and then going back in time and adding stories of our love.

I have been asked how I wrote a book. Well, I started with a list of ideas I wanted to include on my white board. Many of these turned into titles of chapters. Then I wrote an outline of my story with the chapter titles.

I divided the book into 3 parts and it is 24 chapters long with a Prologue, Epilogue and a letter to Larry my coach asked me to include.

As I stitched it all together over the past week, I knew there was one chapter that still needed a story from our past. I knew what that story was about, after all I wrote the outline of ideas.

It was absolutely the most difficult story to write, and that is why I kept putting it off. However, the rubber was meeting the road and heading to the finish line and today I wrote it with tears falling down my cheeks and onto my chest. I cried all the way through it as I knew I would.

It was the one and only time I saw Larry fall to pieces and physically fall to the floor in pain. I had never seen him like this before and I truly never wanted to see it again.

This is part of a paragraph I wrote yesterday in the story I knew I would write in time:

My husband, the man who took no prisoners in business, the man who took down gang members fighting at his nightclub, the man whose voice when raised scared many people, that man collapsed with the agony of having his dog die in his arms.  That man could not stop crying.  That man couldn’t get to his feet because he was grieving so deeply……..

It was at that moment I knew why I loved this man so much and this is where I was after writing it:

The End is Near

The end is near for sure.  I have written a prologue, an epilogue, a letter to Larry that my writing coach asked me to write, and 18 chapters are in Parts 1 and 2 of my story, my book.

I am about to start Part 3 where I wrap it all up and bring it home.  I have so many ideas running around in my head and I will probably have some late nights sitting here at my computer getting this all ready for final review and on to editing.

I was sitting here at my computer one day when words just started falling out of my brain and I am not sure where they came from, how I found them, but I did.

I knew when I re-read them they would be the perfect last 4 paragraphs for my book.  All of Part 3 will add up to these last 4 paragraphs, only I did not know that until I looked at them and had a huge “Oprah moment”.

I knew then where the last part of this book would take myself and my readers and this discovery amazed me because it is the perfect way to tie it all together, and as I wrote above, it is the way I will bring it home.

My Last 4 Paragraphs

I was done, despite those who wanted to make me all undone for one night, or one week, and leave me in a crumpled mess on the floor.

My energy was gone, and spent by those who did not want to stay and just when I felt used up, washed up, the man I called a beast found me.  He was captivated, mystified, and intrigued as if I were the finest wine he had ever brought to his lips and had at yet never tasted.

He got down on the floor with me. All the love he had longed for encircled him like a ring of fire, and eventually that ring of fire surrounded me and we could see forever in each other’s eyes.

Loving each other was better than anything or anyone who had come before. His forever ended leaving me to lie on the floor where the rings of fire had once burned extinguished by my tears.  ~ Carole L. Sanek


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