I sit back daily and watch the numbers grow as this virus spreads without stopping and I know the whole world is grieving right now.
For those of us who have experienced the death of a loved one and have been grieving for months, even years, we have had practice. We have had a dress rehearsal except that grief hits every single one of us in a different way yet the depth of the pain is the same.
I have been living in a place of stillness for over a year. I have had occasional breaks from it when friends and family have come to help me, but the majority of my time is spent in stillness. It is lonely. I suppose I am accustomed to it, but that doesn’t ease the loneliness.
You see now there is fear. The very person who could always talk me off the ledge is no longer here with me, and I fail at being able to do this.
What as I see as my goodness in all of this is the fact that I started writing when Larry died, and I haven’t stopped.
Writing is therapeutic. Writing helps us heal. My writing helps others. I have fans. I can say that because they tell me they are fans. I have a following and that makes me feel exceptionally blessed.
I never would have guessed that at the age I am now would be when I actually found what I am in awe of and be blessed with an epiphany of spirit.
I believe Larry always knew this about me. He probably would have preferred staying around to see me realize my potential. Unfortunately, God had other plans, however when I wake in the morning with a song playing in my head, I know it came from Larry.
It has been a while since that happened and I was overjoyed this morning to wake to “I Love the Way You Love Me” by John Michael Montgomery.
Just a sign of encouragement from the love of my life.